If there is one simple word that we all struggle to say, that is, no. It is Two simple english letters, one simple word, but saying no can be the most hardest thing in life to do. Why we struggle to say no. The reason why we struggle to say no is because we have gotten used to say yes, to many unimportant things in life. When we say yes to unimportant things in life, what happens to us? We miss the chance and we miss the time to say yes to the important things in life and to the things that really matters to us and that is why we need to learn how to say no to unimportant things and how to say yes and how to be more focused on saying yes to the important things in life. A couple of days ago I came across this word when I was chanting, I came across this word in Karani Mitha Sutta. The Buddha says, (Apki Cho) means Do less. If you practice the Buddha's teachings, if you practice the spiritual path or in any area of your life, you have to do less do not do more. Now, the society says the quite opposite thing to us. The society says that do more. The more you do, the more you achieve. Do many things as much as you can, then you will achieve. But turns out doing more will not help us to be more productive. To be more productive in what we are doing to be more productive what really matters to in life. So that is why we have to master to say no to certain things in life and really be focused on what really matters to us. So in this article through I'm going to be sharing with you a few tips that will help you to say no to unimportant things in life and to say yes and to be more focused on what really matters to you.
UNDERSTANDING WHY WE SAY YES
Before learning how to say no to unimportant things in life, we have to understand why we say yes to unimportant things in life. The reason why we say yes to unimportant things is because of fear most of the time. Sometimes it is because of the fear of missing out. Sometimes it is the fear of letting someone down. Sometimes it is the fear of the only one to say no. sometimes it is the fear of making the wrong decision. So that is why we say yes to unimportant things in life and sometimes we say yes not only to the people, but also for the things in life. For an example, let's say you're studying. While you're studying, you have the mobile phone beside you. Okay. All of a sudden you see a notification pops up in on your phone.
Now you know that you're studying and you know that you have to be really focused on that. but you pick up the phone and you check what it is. Sometimes it is not necessary for you, but you check it and you say yes to that distraction. Let's say sometimes you plan to learn or to meditate in an evening. All of a sudden you get a call from your friend and say that. They ask for you to come with them to go shopping, maybe go to a party or to go to a walk. Because of fear of putting that person down or letting that someone down or to say no, we say yes to them. So when you say yes to them, sometimes we miss the chance and we miss that valuable time to be focused, to be more focused on what really matters to us.
STEPS TO SAYING NO
what really helps us to achieve our larger purpose in life and that is why we have to learn how to say no correctly. So here are the few steps that you can help you to achieve that. The first step to saying no to unimportant things in life is to build a good self -awareness. You have to have a good understanding what really matters to you and why you say yes to certain things and why you say no to certain things. When you're aware of that, then you can easily say yes to important things in life and no to unimportant things in life. So before saying yes to something, just ask from yourself this question. Why am I saying yes to this? before saying yes to something or to a person, just figure out why you say yes to that person or why you say yes to that thing. Before you say no to certain things, you have to figure out why you are saying no to certain things in life. For an example, let's say you need to check your mobile phone. Your mind says to check your mobile phone. Before doing that, you have to ask from yourself, Why am I doing this?
Why should I do this? When you ask from yourself that question, you become more aware of yourself. You become more aware of what you are doing. The Buddha says, before you do something or before you say something, just ask from yourself that is it helpful for me? Is this thing that I'm going to do is helpful for me or helpful for others?
Is it good for me? Is it good for others?. When you ask from yourself that question and if you come to the answer that yes, this is really worthy of saying yes, this is really worthy of saying this is really important to me, then do it. But if you come across the answer that no, this doesn't really matter to me, it is not important to my life, then by all means, do not do it because it steals your time, the valuable time in your life. So the first step of saying no, learning how to say no to unimportant things in life is to build a good self-awareness. The second step of learning to say no to unimportant things in life is to build a good self-discipline.
BUILDING SELF-DISCIPLINE
This is the most hardest part because it takes a lot of courage and grit to say no and it you need to be more disciplined to say no to unimportant things in life. Because sometimes the things that we say no, we have to say no to unimportant things in life, maybe the most enjoyable things in life, Let's say like, we all like to enjoy in life, but sometimes those things that makes us enjoyable will not help us to be more productive for an example, let's say you are going to study and you're planning to study, you're planning to meditate, but well, sometimes your friends ask you to come and join to a party. Now, you like to go to a party, but you know that the most important thing in your life is the learning process. That is what helps you to achieve more success. The most important thing in life is to build a good spiritual strength, a strong spiritual base in your life. So then it is very difficult to say no to those things because we fancy of in doing all those things. so that is where we need the self-discipline to be disciplined and to say, no, this is what really matters to me and I have to do it. Then you have to say no to those people politely. You can explain why you are saying no. I heard this one quote saying that learn to say no to people without explaining yourself. I would say learn to say no to people and explain why you're saying no to them. Then they can understand why you're saying no. So then they will respect your time and your values in your life. So that is why we have to learn to say no politely and correctly.
VALUING YOUR TIME
So the third step is to understand that your time is valuable. Time is the most valuable asset that we have in our hand and our time on this earth is really limited. You don't have an infinite time on this earth. We have a finite time and we have to use that limited time very well. So I would suggest look at your time like you look at your money. so when you get money, you don't spend that money lavishly or to whichever the thing that you want. You don't put that money wherever you are. we become more serious and you become more serious about your money. Same like that. Think about your time as you think about your money because money can be earned again But the time cannot be earned again. You cannot take back the time. It is limited and that is why in this limited time, you have to do the best thing that you can do be more serious when you when it comes to time. Don't waste it. it is the most valuable asset that we have. If you value time, if you respect your time, then you can say no to unimportant things and then you can learn to say yes to what really matters in your life. So respect your time and also respect other people's time as well.
ASKING THE MAGIC QUESTION
The next step is to ask this magic question. The magic question, is it really necessary? Before you say something, before you do something, before you say yes to someone or something ask. Is it really necessary? Do I really have to do it? Sometimes because we say yes to unimportant things in life is because we don't know that we don't really need it. For an example, let's say you came back home after a day and you say yes to social media and you scroll through and it steals maybe one or two hours of your valuable time or In that time. There is someone that is valuable that you can do. Maybe to talk with your kids, maybe talk with your parents, maybe talk with your children. Then you can be more engaging with them and do something valuable with them. Instead of hanging out in social media and wasting that valuable time, just we can do something valuable. Before doing that, we have to ask, is it really necessary? Do I really have to do it? Then you can decide what to say no and what to say yes. so keep that in your mind.
FIGURING OUT WHAT MATTERS
So the final step is to figure out what is really important to you, what really matters to you. Now, the most of the time, the reason why we say yes to unimportant things in life is because we haven't figured out what really matters in life, what really matters to us. So that is why if you have a good understanding, What is the larger purpose of your life? What really matters to you? What is really valuable in your life? You can be more focused on that and say no to other things in life that really never helps you to achieve the larger purpose in your life. So I would suggest take a quiet time in your day to figure out what really matters to me today. What should I do and what is the most important thing that I should do today to achieve the larger purpose of my life. In that way, you will have a good understanding what really matters in your life and the things that don't really matters in your life and be more focused in doing those things. Sometimes it is more enjoyable doing unimportant things in life.
But although it is enjoyable.
CONCLUSION:
The Importance of Saying No
Although it is hard to say no to all those distractions, we have to say no to them because those are the things that prevents us engaging and achieving the larger purpose in our life. So finally, these are the tips that you can practice to say no to unimportant things and to say no to distractions in your life and to be more focused on what really matters. So finally, Saying no can be really hard. I know it is really hard, but in order to achieve a happy life and a calmer life and a more disciplined life, we have to say no and we have to learn to say no to unimportant things in life. So practice these little tips and then you'll be happy in your life.
